Malala: The real story (with evidence)

In September 2012, a 15-year-old school girl from Pakistan’s Swat valley was reported to have been shot in the face and head by a Taliban activist.

The attack caused outrage around the world and the news was given widespread coverage in the local and international media.

Malala was reported to have barely survived after doctors in Pakistan and then England performed multiple surgeries on her face and head.

Today Malala lives in the UK and has repeatedly vowed to continue working for the cause of women’s education in Pakistan, especially in those areas of the country where extremists and militant outfits are said to have been blowing up girls’ schools.

But this is just one side of the whole story. The narrative about what really happened on the day Malala was allegedly shot has mostly been weaved by the Western media.

In April this year, Dawn.com sent a group of its most seasoned reporters to Swat to undertake an intensive five-month investigation of the event. Their collective findings unearthed a series of some stunning disclosures (with evidence) that are bound to affectively challenge the mainstream narrative of the Malala story.

The following are the major findings of the investigation:

• Malala was not born in Swat and neither is she a Pushtun. A respected medical doctor in Swat, Imtiaz Ali Khanzai, who runs a private hospital and clinic in Swat told our reporters that he has a DNA report that proves that Malala is not Pushtun.

Showing us the report, he said he extracted Malala’s DNA when as a child she visited his clinic (with her parents) complaining of an earache.

“After she was supposedly shot last year, I remembered I had a bottle where I had kept some of her earwax,” the doctor explained. “Collecting earwax of my patients is a hobby of mine,” he added.

He went on to claim that according to the DNA, Malala is a Caucasian, most probably from Poland.

After the discovery, the doctor called Malala’s father and told him that he knew who Malala was. “

“He was stunned and began to stutter,” the doctor said. “He pleaded that I did not make my findings public. I told him I wouldn’t but only if he told me the whole truth.”

Malala’s father told the doctor that Malala’s real name was Jane and she was born in Hungary in 1997. Her real biological parents were Christian missionaries who, after traveling to Swat in 2002, left Malala as a gift to her adopted parents after they secretly converted to Christianity.

Dr. Khanzai’s DNA extraction kit

When our reporters asked the doctor why he was revealing Malala’s real identity now, he said he was convinced that Malala was planted in Swat by anti-Pakistan elements.

He then added that he can also prove that the young man who shot her was not a Pushtun either. “I have his earwax as well,’ he claimed.

After extracting the DNA of the shooter’s earwax, the doctor discovered that he was probably from Italy. He then invited our reporters to look at the man’s earwax under a microscope.

“Those tiny yellow bits that you see in the wax are bits of pizza,” he explained.

The doctor told us that in January 2012 he emailed his findings to some senior members of Pakistan’s intelligence agency, the ISI.

After a few days his clinic was raided by the police. He was in Saudi Arabia at the time collecting earwax samples of some members of the Saudi royal family. His staff at the clinic was harassed by the police who wanted to know where he kept the earwax samples.

Pizza?

In June this year, the doctor was visited by a young ISI officer who apologised to him about the police raid and told him that the ISI were well aware of Malala’s real identity. After much coaxing on our part, the doctor eventually gave us the cell phone number of the ISI officer.

However, the officer kept refusing to talk to us but finally relented on the condition that we refer to him as ‘Master X’.

Master X met one of our reporters at an abandoned girls’ school in lower Swat. To hide his face, the officer wore a Spiderman mask.

Talking to the reporter he said: “This had to come out one day. And I just couldn’t let myself continue to keep such a dangerous secret hidden. I am a true patriot.”

He then added: ‘My father once told me, ‘Peter, with great power comes great responsibility’.’

The officer

His revelations led us to our next shocking discovery (with evidence):

• Malala’s shooting was staged by intelligence agencies. The officer told the reporter that the whole shooting incident was a stunt planned by Pakistani and US agencies to pave the way for the Pakistani army’s invasion of North Waziristan: “It was all a drama,” he explained. “It was staged so the Pakistan army would have an excuse to invade North Waziristan.”

When asked why he was using the word ‘invasion’ when North Waziristan was a part of Pakistan, the officer replied: “North Waziristan is an autonomous Islamic Emirates. It has been like that for centuries. But our history books distort the facts and teach our children that it is part of Pakistan. The area has unimaginable amounts of oil, gold, copper, silver, bronze, coal, diamonds, gas and fossilised dinosaur remains underneath its rugged grounds. That’s what the Americans are after.”

Our reporter then asked whether he had any evidence to prove his claim.

The officer pulled out a few photographs and showed it to the reporter. The photographs showed a few bones. “Dinosaur bones,” he explained.

He added: “These were excavated in North Waziristan by the archaeology division of the Taliban. After they were studied by the geology division of the Taliban, it had traces of oil, gold, copper, silver, bronze, coal, diamonds and gas.”

One of the photographs showing dinosaur bones excavated from the grounds of North Waziristan.

What about the evidence proving that the shooting was staged by American and Pakistani agencies?

Pulling out a piece of paper, the officer said: “This is the evidence. It was decoded by the Taliban’s division of quantum physics.”

The paper had screen shots of a brief exchange of tweets on Twitter between one ‘Lib Fish’ and ‘Oil Gul.’

The officer said that Lib Fish was actually a CIA operative based in Qatar and Oil Gul was an ISI sleuth on Twitter based in Lahore. The exchange was intercepted and decoded by one ‘Tsunami Mommy’ who is based in Swabi in the Khyber Pakhtunkwa province in Pakistan and is an engineer by profession.

We are publishing the Twitter exchange between Lib Fish and Oil Gul that was provided to us by the officer:

@LibFish Yo, @OilGul, how goes life?

@OilGul Life’s kool, mate.

@LibFish @OilGul Any chance of visiting Qatar soon?

@OilGul @LibFish Haha. Soon after I’m done with my O level exams. They suck.

@LibFish @OilGul Haha. Yea, they do, don’t they?

The officer told us that Tsunami Mommy jumped in after he realised what was taking place:

@Tsunami_Mommy Agents! I know what you two do. Anti-Islam anti-Pakistan bastaaas. @OilGul @LibFish

@OilGul Dude, who are you? Why are you trolling us?

@Tsunami_Mommy Shup ut fake liberalz fascist agents IK is best you bastaaas NA250 rigging 1 billion fake liberalz votes anti-Pakistan anti-Islam inshallah Nya Bakistan tabdeeli …

The officer said he used famous Pakistani linguist and WW-II code-breaker, Mustansar Hussain Tarar, to decode the suspicious Twitter exchange and that is when he discovered that the CIA and the ISI were planning the fake shooting.

He also gave the reporter the manuscript of the book that Tsunami Mommy was writing on the shooting after piecing together the evidence (with evidence) provided by the doctor, the officer and Mustansar Hussain Tarar.

The book’s title will be ‘A Fake Shooting of a Fake Liberal by a Fake Liberal, You Bastaaas.’

Below is the brief summary of what the manuscript claims:

October 1, 1997: Malala is born to Hungarian parents in Budapest and named Jane.

October 4, 2002: The parents are recruited by the CIA and given a crash course in evangelical Christianity, hypnosis and karate.

October 7, 2003: They land in Pakistan and head for Swat posing as NGO workers. They get in touch with a low-level ISI agent, and convert the family to Christianity, leaving Jane with him. He changes her name to Malala and instils in her the fear of Jesus.

October 30, 2007: Malala starts to write a blog that asks the militants of Swat to put down their weapons, pick up a Bible and boogie.

October 21, 2011: The militants request her to stop writing her evangelical blogs and finish her homework instead.

October 1, 2012: CIA recruits a Pashtu speaking Italian-American loner (Robert) living in New York and gives him a crash course in gun-slinging and acting.

October 7, 2012: CIA shares plan of Malala’s fake shooting with the ISI. The ISI agrees and gives Malala and her parents a briefing.

October 11, 2012: The Italian-America arrives in Swat posing as an Uzbek homeopath.

The fake gunman moments before taking a flight to Pakistan.

October 12, 2012: Robert is given a gun that is loaded with blanks. He intercepts Malala’s school van and fires blanks at her. She pretends to be hit and squeeze opens a small pack of Mitchel’s Tomato Ketchup she is hiding in one of her hands and rubs the ketchup all over her face. A fake ambulance suddenly arrives on the scene and takes away Malala. The world is told that she was shot in the face and head by a Taliban fanatic.

The story that ran in the media quoted Malala’s friends in the van saying that the gunman asked for Malala and then shot her.

But the officer shared with us the testimony of one of Malala’s friends that was repressed by vested interests in the media.

According to the testimony, a man stopped the van and shouted (in Pashtu), ‘who is Jane … I mean, Jeanette … no, Alberta Joan Lucas?’

The girls looked at each other in confusion and the driver was about to drive away when the gunman pulled out a gun and started to shout: ‘Uno momento, un momento …’

Then looking at a girl he asked: ‘You lookin’ at me?’ At which Malala threw down her school bag and shouted (in Italian): ‘No you idiot, I AM lookin’ at you. Malala, Malala, remember? Fool.’

Saying, ‘Oh,’ he shot her (with the blanks).

• The girl that the media was shown in the hospital was not Malala. The officer shared with us some photographs to prove this. He first showed us a video (on his iPhone) that he shot hours after the shooting. It shows Malala joyfully bungee jumping on the hills near River Swat.

Malala bungee jumping hours after she was allegedly ‘shot.’

Then the officer informed us that the doctor had the earwax samples of the girl in the hospital. When we contacted the doctor again and asked what the samples proved he said that the DNA he extracted from the sample suggests that the girl in the hospital was not a girl at all. It was a pillow.

He said he had managed to sneak into the operating room (posing as a postman) and while he was secretly drawing out earwax from the girl’s ears, he managed to take a picture of the girl with his Nokia phone.

‘I came back and was shocked when I enlarged the picture,’ he said.

He then gave us a printout of the picture …

We believe there is now enough evidence for Pakistan and the international community to have a serious re-look at the Malala story and demand that the United Nations orders a full investigation into the matter.

—DISCLAIMER: The above article is a work of satire and fiction and in no way attempts to depict events in real life.

http://dawn.com/news/1048776/malala-the-real-story-with-evidence

How Atatürk Made Turkey Secular

The evolution of Turkey in the early 1900s is one of the most baffling cultural and social changes in Islamic history. In a few short years, the Ottoman Empire was brought down from within, stripped of its Islamic history, and devolved into a new secular nation known as Turkey. The consequences of this change are still being felt today throughout the Muslim world, and especially in a very polarized and ideologically segmented Turkey.

What caused this monumental change in Turkish government and society? At the center of it all is Mustafa Kemal, better known as Atatürk. Through his leadership in the 1920s and 1930s, modern secular Turkey was born, and Islam took a backseat in Turkish society.

The Rise of Atatürk

The decision of the Ottoman Empire to enter the First World War in 1914 turned out to be a horrible mistake. The empire was run by a dictatorship led by the “Three Pashas” who unilaterally entered the war on the German side, against the British, French, and Russians. The Ottoman Empire was invaded from the south by the British, from the East by the Russians, and by the Greeks in the West. By 1918 when the war ended, the empire was divided and occupied by the victorious allies, leaving only the central Anatolian highlands under native Turkish control.

Mustafa Kemal in 1918

It was in central Anatolia where Mustafa Kemal would rise to become a national hero for the Turks. As an Ottoman army officer, he displayed great leadership in battle, especially at Gallipoli, where the Ottomans managed to turn back a British invasion aimed at the capital, Istanbul. After the war, however, Kemal made clear what his priorities were. His main goal was the establishment of Turkish nationalism as the unifying force of the Turkish people. Unlike the multi-ethnic and diverse Ottoman Empire, Kemal aimed to create a monolithic state based on Turkish identity.

In Mustafa Kemal’s own words, he describes the importance of Turkish identity and the insignificance of Islam as he sees it:

“Even before accepting the religion of the Arabs [Islam], the Turks were a great nation. After accepting the religion of the Arabs, this religion, didn’t effect to combine the Arabs, the Persians and Egyptians with the Turks to constitute a nation. (This religion) rather, loosened the national nexus of Turkish nation, got national excitement numb. This was very natural. Because the purpose of the religion founded by Muhammad, over all nations, was to drag to an including Arab national politics.”

- Mustafa Kemal, Medenî Bilgiler

Mustafa Kemal’s skewed [and quite frankly, factually incorrect] views of Islamic history helped push his nationalist agenda. Using Turkish identity as a rallying point, he managed to unite former Ottoman officers under his command in the Turkish War of Independence in the early 1920s and expel the occupying forces of the Greeks, British, and French, who had encroached on Turkish land after WWI. By 1922, Kemal managed to completely free the Turks of foreign occupation and used the opportunity to establish the modern Republic of Turkey, led by the Grand National Assembly, the GNA, in Ankara. At the head of the new Turkish government was a president, elected by the GNA. The natural choice was Mustafa Kemal, the hero of the War of Independence, who now took on the title of “Atatürk”, meaning “Father of the Turks”.

Abolition of the Ottoman Sultanate and the Caliphate

At first, the new Turkish government seemed to inherit the role of the Ottoman government as the upholder of Islam. A new constitution drawn up by the GNA declared that Islam was the official state religion of Turkey and that all laws had to be vetted by a panel of Islamic law experts, to make sure they do not contradict the Shari’ah.

This new system of government could not work, however, so long as there continued to be a rival government in Istanbul, led by the Ottoman sultan. The Ankara and Istanbul governments both claimed sovereignty over Turkey, and had frankly conflicting goals. Atatürk eliminated this problem on November 1, 1922, when he abolished the Ottoman sultanate, which had existed since 1299, and officially transferred its power to the GNA. He did not immediately abolish the caliphate, however. Although the sultanate was no more, he allowed the Ottoman caliphate to continue to exist, although with no official powers, only as a symbolic figurehead.

Abdülmecid II, the last caliph who held the office from 1922 to 1924.

Knowing that this move would be very unpopular among the Turkish people, Atatürk justified it by claiming he was simply going back to a traditional Islamic form of government. From the 900s to the 1500s, the Abbasid caliphs were mostly figureheads, with real power being in the hands of viziers or warlords. Atatürk used this example to justify his creation of a powerless caliphate.

The caliphate had existed since the days following the death of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when Abu Bakr was elected as the first leader of the Muslim world. For Muslims outside of Turkey, Atatürk’s actions clearly put the office of the caliphate itself in danger. In India especially, Muslims expressed outrage at Atatürk’s actions and organized the Khilafat Movement, which sought to protect the caliphate from danger, whether by foreign invaders or the Turkish government itself.

For Atatürk, the expressions of support for the caliphate from Muslims outside Turkey were seen as interference in internal Turkish affairs. Citing this supposed international interference, on March 3rd, 1924, Atatürk and the Grand National Assembly abolished the caliphate itself and sent all remaining members of the Ottoman family into exile.

Attacks on Islam

With the caliphate out of the way, the Turkish government had more freedom to pursue policies that attacked Islamic institutions. Under the guise of “cleansing Islam of political interference”, the educational system was completely overhauled. Islamic education was banned in favor of secular, non-dogmatic schools. Other aspects of religious infrastructure were also torn down. The Shari’ah council to approve laws that the GNA had established just two years earlier was abolished. Religious endowments were seized and put under government control. Sufi lodges were forcefully shut down. All judges of Islamic law in the country were immediately fired, as all Shari’ah courts were closed.

Atatürk’s attacks on Islam were not limited to the government, however. Everyday life for Turks was also dictated by Atatürk’s secular ideas:

• Traditional Islamic forms of headdress such as turbans and the fez were outlawed in favor of Western-style hats.
• The hijaab for women was ridiculed as a “ridiculous object” and banned in public buildings.
• The calendar was officially changed, from the traditional Islamic calendar, based on the hijrah – Prophet Muhammad ﷺ’s flight to Madinah – to the Gregorian calendar, based on the birth of Jesus Christ.
• In 1932, the adhan – the Muslim call to prayer – was outlawed in Arabic. Instead, it was rewritten using Turkish words and forced upon the country’s thousands of mosques.
• Friday was no longer considered part of the weekend. Instead, Turkey was forced to follow European norms of Saturday and Sunday being days off from work.

After all of these changes, the GNA gave up the charade in 1928 and deleted the clause in the constitution that declared Islam as the official state religion. Islam had been replaced with Atatürk’s secular ideologies.

Language Reform

Atatürk knew these secular reforms would be futile if the Turkish people could manage to rally together to oppose them. The biggest danger to this new order was the history of the Turks, which since the 900s had been intertwined with Islam. In order to distance the new generations of Turks from their past, Atatürk had to make the past unreadable to them.

Atatürk introducing the new Latin script in 1928.

With the excuse of increasing literacy among Turks (which was indeed very low in the 1920s), Atatürk advocated the replacement of Arabic letters with Latin letters. Much like Persian, Turkish was written in Arabic letters for hundreds of years after the conversion of the Turks to Islam in the 900s. Because Turkish was written in the Arabic script, Turks could read the Qur’an, and other Islamic texts with relative ease, connecting them to an Islamic identity – which Atatürk saw as a threat.

In addition to the introduction of the Latin letters, Atatürk created a commission charged with the replacement of Arabic and Persian loanwords in Turkish. In keeping with his nationalist agenda, Atatürk wanted a language that was purely Turkish, which meant old Turkish words, that had become obsolete during the Ottoman era, came back into use instead of Arabic words. For example, the Turkish War of Independence, formerly know as the Istiklal Harbi, is now known as Kurtuluş Savaşı, because “istiklal” and “harb” are Arabic loanwords in Turkish.

From Atatürk’s perspective, the language reform was wildly successful. Within a few decades, the old Ottoman Turkish was effectively extinct. The newer generations of Turks were completely cut off from the older generations, with whom simple conversations were difficult. With the Turkish people illiterate to their past, the Turkish government was able to feed them a version of history that they deemed acceptable, one that promoted the Turkish nationalistic ideas of Atatürk himself.

Secular Turkey

All of these reforms worked together to effectively erase Islam from the lives of the everyday Turks. Despite the best efforts of religious-minded Turks (such as Said Nursi) to preserve their heritage, language, and religion, the government’s pressure to adopt secular ideas was too much. For over 80 years, Turkish government remained vehemently secular. Attempts to bring back Islamic values into government have been met with resistance by the military, which views itself as the protector of Atatürk’s secularism.

In 1950, Adnan Menderes was democratically elected prime minister of Turkey on a platform of bringing back the Arabic adhan. Although he was successful, he was overthrown by a military coup in 1960 and executed after a hasty trial. More recently, in 1996, Necmettin Erbakan was elected prime minister, while remarkably openly declaring himself an “Islamist”. Once again, the military stepped in, and overthrew him from power after just one year in office.

Modern Turkey’s relations with Islam and its own history are complicated. Portions of the society strongly support Atatürk’s ideology and believe Islam should have no role in public life. Other segments of society envision a return to a more Islam-oriented society and government, and closer relations with the rest of the Muslim world. Most troubling, however, is that the ideological conflict between these two opposing sides shows no signs of subsiding anytime soon.

Bibliography:

Hiro, Dilip. Inside Central Asia: A Political and Cultural History of Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkey, and Iran. 9. New York: Overlook Duckworth, 2011. Print.

Ochsenwald, William, and Sydney Fisher. The Middle East: A History. 6th. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2003. Print.